A MERRY HEART

“A merry heart does good, like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22)


A Well-Known Monk

A wandering monk walked barefoot everywhere he went, to the point that the soles of his feet eventually became quite thick and leathery. And because he ate very little, he gradually became very frail. Several days often passed between opportunities to brush his teeth, so he usually had bad breath. Therefore, throughout the region, he came to be known as the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis


Calling the Last Rites

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.

"A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."

The policeman agrees and brings the octogenarian over to the dying man. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: "B - 4. I - 19. N - 38. G - 54. O - 72."


Show-and-Tell

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion.

The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David. "The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is the Crucifix."

The third student got in up front of the class and said, " My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."


The Door Stopper

Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.

But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.

Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.

Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."